I utterly lol at HSBC

This is two anecdotes in one, actually. A little while ago, HSBC timetabled me for an informal “discuss your finances” interview. Sure, no problem. After waiting for about 45 minutes, they said there was no staff that could see me and politely asked whether I could come back next week. I saw them write it in their diary and was promised that someone would be available. However, the day before the rescheduled appointment I realised that they’ve booked me in for a bank holiday and would therefore be closed all day. Smooth.

More recently, I had this conversation:

Me: Hi, is this HSBC lost or stolen cards?
HSBC: Yes, how can I help?
Me: Right, I’m at London Euston railway station. I just tried to use an ATM but immediately after I inserted my card the machine restarted. It hasn’t returned my card since.
HSBC: Did it say anything on the screen?
Me: No, it just restarted. The screen went blank, saw the BIOS memory check, saw the OS/2 Warp splash scr..
HSBC: So you’d like to report your card stolen?
Me: No, the machine ju.. I’d just like to cancel it and get a new one.
HSBC: Okay, what city are you in?
Me: Umm, London. I’m at London Euston station.
HSBC: Okay …

They then sent me a card with an identical number (and thus blacklisted as lost or stolen) but with an expiry date of 2010. Turns out that blacklisted cards don’t work and get you very funny looks in shops.

The worst thing was, after I told my parents, my mom got scared and said “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said “Fresh” and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought “Nah, forget it, Yo homes, to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby, “Yo homes, smell ya later!” I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.