You Hurt My Feelings (2023)

Directed by Nicole Holofcener

A novelist's longstanding marriage is suddenly upended when she overhears her husband giving his honest reaction to her latest book.

Somewhere within his classic review of London restaurant Sexy Fish, A. A. Gill reminds us that "The first rule of reviewing is that you have to criticise people, places and things by the standards and expectations that they set for themselves." With that in mind, then, we cannot criticise You Hurt My Feelings too harshly on the grounds of it being "too low-stakes". Yes, it is an extended sitcom episode of a movie, but it occasionally seems to know that it is itself a low-consequence movie about "comfortable" New Yorkers, and perhaps even sending up the kind of comedy in Seinfeld and Woody Allen movies. Paradoxically, I think that the film suffers from having such a recognisable cast: if I re-imagine this as a relatively inexpensive indie film, it starts to seem like more of an awkward inside joke, punching up at these established tropes instead of being, perhaps, a slightly self-indulgent slap on the back between friends.


[Tobias] Menzies [embodies a] middleweight bummer of a worldview. Distracted at work, burned out by other people’s problems and constantly asked to be the first-read fan for his wife, Don is wilting. Menzies radiates warmth like a dented space heater, apologetic but still chugging along with a half-smile.

Jacob Oller (Paste Magazine)